you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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