i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
