I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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