guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt