Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.