Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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