I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT