I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?