Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.