Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
