Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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