Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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