Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
