what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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