I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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