Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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