Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Girls should come with a carfax report
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
