Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
