i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
