I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
