I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
