forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
