omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my sisters under your porch take her home
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
