just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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