I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
