I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
