Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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