i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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