that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
