Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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