Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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