i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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