My liver just broke up with me...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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