pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
