Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
