ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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