Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
