So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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