theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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