but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
