There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
