think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
