Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
