I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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