new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
