It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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