So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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