You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
