the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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