***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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