Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
