idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
