I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
tell me about the eggs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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