I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
