We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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