You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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