hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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