Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
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I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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