can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize