just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
