Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
