I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
