turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
