she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
