never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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