Is it because I queefed?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
