we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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