Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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