I just threw up on my dentist
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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